Archive for the ‘Uncategorized’ Category

Pizarro June Statement

Sunday, July 15th, 2018

Pizarro June Statement

Prepared by Benjamin Vulpes

BTC incoming and outgoing


  incoming outgoing
FG->Rockchip TTL cables   0.00756304
DC   0.40847278
fiat purchase   0.26994957
SSDs   0.25106448
    0.93704987

USD incoming and outgoing


  incoming outgoing
USD purchase 1800  
desk   311
bunk   399
per diem   600
apt june/july   521
apt deposit   1423
local taxes   182
  1800 3436

Fiat assets


account 6/01/2018 6/31/2018 net change
USD 2722 1272 -1450
UYU 0 44900 44900

Fiat liabilities


account 6/01/2018 6/31/2018 net change
wildcat bonus 2500 2500 0

Tangibles


item qty book value monthly depreciation last depreciation period
UY1 1 0.17035616 0.02129452 march 2019
UY2 1 0.33333334 0.03333333 may 2019
RC Pilot 1 0.09010867 0.00901087 may 2019
UY3 1 0.55312191 n/a n/a
FUCKGOATs 28 0.38888892 n/a n/a
USD 550 0.08209262 n/a n/a
UYU 44900 0.21310078 n/a n/a
SSDs 5 0.25106448 n/a n/a
    2.08206688    

Pizarro assets


account 6/01/2018 6/30/2018 net change
cash 7.65150008 6.71445021 -0.93704987
tangibles 1.95256716 2.08206688 0.12949972
intangibles, g/w 4.08480136 4.77078675 0.68598539
  13.68886860 13.56730384 -0.12156476

Pizarro Liabilities


account 6/01/2018 6/30/2018 net change
S.NSA 0.90000000 0.90000000 0.00000000
BingoBoingo parachute 0.25000000 0.25000000 0.00000000
customer equity 0.64739287 0.52532989 -0.12206298
wildcat bonus 0.32431984 0.32431984 0.00000000
shareholder equity 11.56715589 11.56765411 0.00049282
  13.68886860 13.56730384 -0.12157016

I am struggling to keep my family afloat, and the Pizarro board is in the process of replacing me as manager.

Pizarro Statement, May 2018

Monday, June 4th, 2018

Pizarro May Statement

Prepared by Benjamin Vulpes

BTC incoming and outgoing


  incoming outgoing
RC pilot plant   0.10813041
RAID cards (2x)   0.02000000
fiat purchase   0.22286546
WU fee   0.00437042
DC   0.35618850
wire fee   0.00606990
shared shell through may 2019 0.03600000  
rockchip through july 2019 0.02460091  
shared shell through december 2019 0.00270968  
FG rental through april 2019 0.01145837  
rockchip and FG rental through august 4th, 2018 0.02719567  
FG sale 0.01567778  
wildcat bonus   0.60760000
rockchip through august 2018 0.03069891  
shared shell for may 2018 0.00300000  
shared shell for may 2018 0.00300000  
colo fee for may 2018 0.01924461  
colo fee for may 2018 0.01924461  
FG <> rockchip TTL cables   0.00756304
  0.19283054 1.33278773

Rockchip Pilot

(reproduced from http://www.loper-os.org/pub/piz_apr_parts.txt)

Item | Cost (net, USD)


Misc Fasteners (screws, tape) | 22


6 x ROC-RK3328-CC Heatsink | 60


1 x 'Anker PowerPort' 5v supply | 36


6 x 8GB uSD | 30


6 x ROC-RK3328-CC 'Rockchip' comp | 330


150mm x 1U rack shelf | 20


6 x 128GB Samsung USB 3.0 drive | 222


Spare FG cabling (minihub, 90deg) | 20


IP KVM | 140


Gigabit Switch (purchased on site)| 100


Total| 980 (USD)

wildcat bonus

Bonused Bingo 2/3rds of the agreed-upon one-time bonus, the rest to be paid September 1st1.

USD incoming and outgoing


  incoming outgoing
USD purchase 1800  
bunk   488
cowork   311
per diem   600
local taxes   182
  1800 981

Fiat assets


account 5/01/2018 net change 5/31/2018
USD 2503 219 2722

Fiat liabilities


account 5/01/2018 net change 5/31/2018
wildcat bonus 0 2500 2500

Tangibles


item qty book value monthly depreciation last depreciation period
UY1 1 0.19165068 0.02129452 march 2019
Uy1 1 0.36666667 0.03333333 may 2019
RC Pilot 1 0.09911954 0.00901087 may 2019
UY3 1 0.55312191 n/a n/a
FUCKGOATS 28 0.38888892 n/a n/a
USD 2722 0.35311944 n/a n/a
total   1.95256716    

Pizarro assets


account 5/01/2018 net change 5/31/2018
cash 8.79145727 -1.13995719 7.65150008
tangibles 1.95064688 0.00192028 1.95256716
intangibles, g/w 3.11055254 .97424882 4.08480136
  13.85265669 -0.16378809 13.68886860

Pizrro liabilities


account 5/01/2018 net change 5/31/2018
S.NSA 0.90000000 0.00000000 0.90000000
BingoBoingo parachute 0.24000000 0.00000000 0.25000000
customer equity 0.76945585 -0.12206298 0.64739287
wildcat bonus 0.00000000 0.32431984 0.32431984
shareholder equity 11.93320084 -0.36604495 11.56715589
  13.84265669 -0.16378809 13.68886860

Balance owed of the wildcat bonus will be marked to market at the end of every report.

Shareholders took a shellacking due to payout of 2/3rds of a negotiated bonus, remainder is scheduled for payment at the beginning of September. BingoBoingo grinds the terraforming project forward, focusing on establishing a sane beachead; once that's fixed, we have a clear shot to wrapping up payroll negotiations.

We have a landing page for the shared shell sales project, a commission structure for the guys filtering the ocean of webhosting, and a new face for our website that doesn't look like the default WP template from a decade ago. More to do, clearly, and we'll do it.

The Rockchip production plant is in design; more as development warrants.

Barring unexpected charges, expect another month of cash losses in the ~0.4 BTC range. Customer equity will shift to our line at approximately the same rate, monthly customers will continue to spend at approximately the same rate give or take forex moves. The beachhead could come to fruition which would entail a significant deposit; see Bingo Blog for more.

Next month:

  • push towards closing a new bunk for BingoBoingo
  • get pricing for and start to move towards the production Rockchip plant
  • continue tidying up the Pizarro website
  • sell shared shells
  • make contact with what pockets of Western Union-competent sanity exist on LocalBitcoins and make a few friends

Pizarro has 1,100,000 shares outstanding.

  1. Pretty honking great how TMSR's moved past the gribble eauth everify dance of years past; the lordship expects itself to be authed at all times, and has enough personal knowledge of its members to evaluate the odds that someone's hijacked the nick in conversation. What with the logs, auth and disconnect records, we routinely conduct and settle negotiations over the most MITM'd network the world's ever seen (except for TOR). I'd honestly like to see the immune system reaction to a nick hijacking at this point []

Pizarro Statement, April 2018

Friday, May 4th, 2018

Pizarro April Statement

Prepared by Benjamin Vulpes

Updated May 9th, 2018. Previous version: http://archive.is/vJCfp . Updated to balance assets/liabilities; add a line for customer equity to represent prepays/unearned income; recalculate book value and restate par value.

BTC incoming and outgoing


incoming   outgoing  
    1U server 0.21483957
shared hosting (pro-rated) 0.00160000    
shared hosting 0.00300000    
colo fee 0.01909011    
colo fee 0.01909011    
shared hosting (pro rated) 0.00120000    
rockchip rental through august 2018 0.04344809    
S.MG server & 2 FG rental through april 2019 0.47520000    
S.NSA rackspace through june 2018 0.04221665    
rockchip rental through april 2019 0.11316219    
S.MG shared hosting through april 2019 0.03600000    
rockchip rental through july 2018 0.02582892    
shared shell through april 2019 0.03600000    
    SSDs 0.09169539
    SSDs 0.23658695
    rockchip pilot plant 0.10813041
    RAID cards 0.02000000
S.NSA loan 0.40000000    
    1U and couriering 0.40000000
    DC 0.31132592
    wire fee 0.00530537
    WU fee 0.00381987
    fiat purchase 0.19099359
  1.21583607   1.58269707

USD incoming and outgoing


incoming   outgoing  
funds for May expenses 1800    
    bunk 488
    desk 311
    per diem 600
    local taxes 182
    zip ties 6
    power cables 49
    networking cables 35
    cage nuts 26
    tooling 28
    llave 3
    translation 88
    tramite cedula 9
  1800   1825

Fiat assets


account 4/01/2018 net change 4/30/2018
USD 2528 -25 2503

Tangibles


item qty book value monthly depreciation last depreciation period
UY1 1 0.21294520 0.02129452 March 2019
UY2 1 0.40000000 0.03333333 May 2019
Rockchip pilot plant 1 0.10813041 0.00901087 May 2019
UY3 1 0.55312191 n/a n/a
FUCKGOATS 29 0.40277781 n/a n/a
USD 2503 0.27367155 n/a n/a
  total 1.95064688    

Pizarro assets


account 4/01/2018 net change 4/30/2018
cash 9.15831827 -0.36686100 8.79145727
tangibles 0.99458472 0.95606216 1.95064688
intangibles, g/w 2.59910779 0.51144475 3.11055254
  12.75201078 1.10064591 13.85265669

Pizarro liabilities


account 4/01/2018 net change 4/30/2018
S.NSA 0.50000000 0.40000000 0.90000000
BingoBoingo parachute 0.25000000 0 0.25000000
customer equity 0.00000000 0.76945585 0.76945585
shareholder equity 12.00201078 -0.06880994 11.93320084
totals 12.75201078 1.10064591 13.85265669

Moved bunk, desk, governmental paperwork to USD incoming/outgoing; consolidated BTC-side reporting for those expenses into a 'fiat purchase' line, as this reflects the underlying mechanisms most closely.

UY2 is leased and in service with the customer; UY3 is the onsite spare to ensuring continuity of service for that particular contract; as such I've not started its depreciation clock.

The Rockchip pilot plant seems to be a great success; we leased 5 of the 6 machines within the first month. Many kudos to Stan for the visionary design and putting it all together.

Pizarro has 1,100,000 shares outstanding. Book value for all accounts is 0.00001085 BTC/share, and 0.00000802 BTC/share for cash and tangibles, for a 0.55% loss and 6.2% loss respectively. Par value is what it has always been: 0.00001000.

The board has approved in principle a raise for our man on the ground in Uruguay, in tandem with the luxury of a private abode. The man's done good work, oughta recognize it.

Next up: marketing the remaining Rockchip and the follow-on production plant as "safe online RSA machines"; leveraging/marketing the extremely high-margin shared hosting machine; putting together numbers for Rockchip production plant. On the managerial side, I'm putting together docs on canonical Republican multitenant webhosting configuration, and ploughing all of our customer data into a database to track debits from the new customer equity line among other things.

Enjoy this table of the number of customers required to break-even (based on combined ongoing expenses of some 5200 USD/mo)


product breakeven #
colo 36
rockchip monthly 52
rockchip quarterly 70
shared shell 208
hosting only 1040

The full breakeven equation, for interested parties:

$MONTHLYBURN = 36*C + 70*RM + 52*RQ + 208*SH + 1040*H

Obviously the rack will be getting crowded, and possibly over our power provisioning at an occupancy of 36 (moreover, strikes me as an unlikely number of colocation customers to achieve); and pulling 1,040 low-dough heathens is a skosh ambitious, but we'll find a route to glory somewhere in there.

Rockchips for rent!

Wednesday, April 18th, 2018

$100/mo. $75/mo paid quarterly.

$50 setup fee to cover cost of consumables.

Pizarro will replace failed SSDs at most once per year, per customer. Further replacements will cost $50.

  • 2 GB RAM
  • Quad-core ARM V8, 1.4 GHz
  • 128 GB Samsung USB3 storage
  • Unmetered shared

This nifty machine sits at that sweet spot between "a big-boy-pants server" that takes up an entire 1U and eats lord only knows how many watts at idle, and the not-actually-isolated modern timeshare scam known as "Virtual Private Servers". It has none of the overhead of a virtualized kernel, and its teeny tiny, dare I say adorable form factor is such that we can cram oodles of these into space that would otherwise cost north of a hundred dollars a month just in power, space and bandwidth.

They come with a Pizarro-special Gentoo, and EXTREMELY LIMITED SUPPORT, limited to OS reinstalls.

Available for rent while supplies last. Get 'em while they're hot!

Pizarro Statement, March 2018

Tuesday, April 3rd, 2018

Pizarro March 2018 Statement

Prepared by Benjamin Vulpes

BTC incoming and outgoing


incoming   outgoing   account
Qntra rent (Feb + March) 0.006     c
    Plane ticket 0.13573228 i
    Freight surcharge 0.01216017 i
    Import tax 0.18288321 i
    SATA cables 0.00443238 i
    Additional bag 0.01302788 i
    Packing supplies 0.00206636 i
    USB drives 0.00173717 t
    Hotel 0.01575828 i
courier fee 0.11985394     i
march rackspace 0.00890489     c
courier fee 0.11985394     i
march rackspace 0.00890489     c
march shared hosting 0.00077419     c
march shared hosting 0.00067742     c
    bunk 0.06664991 i
    desk 0.03636512 i
    per diem 0.07249639 i
    local taxes 0.02116427 i
    customs 0.02747847 i
    llegada 0.00093544 i
    DC 0.27993662 i
    wire fee 0.00584648 i
    WU fee 0.00420947 i
  0.26496927   0.88287990  

USD incoming and outgoing


incoming   outgoing  
funds for April expenses 1800    
    bunk 570
    desk 311
    per diem 620
    local taxes 181
    customs 235
    llegada 8
    power cables 49
    network cables 15
    wrench 7
  1800   1996

Fiat assets


account 3/01/2018 net change 3/31/2018
USD $2724 ($196) 2528

I've changed my mind about how the accounting for the "advance", by which I mean the ongoing rounding-up of Western Union remittances to hit even-hundred numbers from what is calculated to be needed. This is currently sitting as cash in the USD pile; and it can be accounted for simply as that. Unless someone mounts an objection, I've struck this account from the report as I realize it's not sensible.

Tangibles


item qty book value monthly depreciation last depreciation period
UY1 1 0.23423972 0.02129452 March 2019
FUCKGOATS 29 0.40277781 n/a n/a
USD 2528 0.35756719 n/a n/a
  total 0.99458472    

Remaining value of rails, power cables, ethernet cables, and wrench depreciated entirely.

Pizarro assets


account 3/01/2018 net change 3/31/2018
cash 9.77622890 -0.61791063 9.15831827
tangibles .92344934 0.07113537 0.99458472
intangibles and goodwill 1.95767294 0.64143485 2.59910779
    0.09465959 12.75201078

Pizarro cash accounts


account amount
BV1 8.84424376
BV2 0.13021044
BB1 0.20123128
  9.17568548

Totally hosed delivery of the machine for S.MG; so repurposed that box into shared hosting. Shells for any in the deedbot L2 on a ridiculously overpowered machine with PHP and MySQL for your MP-WP hosting needs. The tangibles line looks healthier than it has any right to due to the deterioration of the USD/BTC price.

I applied courier service payments from customers whose gear went to Uruguay last month against the intangibles account for this month.

Audit of cash accounts reveals that we're ~2 bitcents heavy, one of which is owed to asciilifeform and the other reserved for shipping some FG cross-country.

Pizarro showed a small amount of revenue this period, and will show a similarly small amount of revenue next. The WP/PHP hosting bootstrapping is going well, and may even turn into its own product this month. May the forex trade winds not blow further and harder against us.

Pizarro has 1,100,000 shares outstanding. Par value for all accounts is 0.00001091 BTC/share, and 0.00000855 BTC/share for cash and tangibles.

PHP Hosting and MySQL DBs now available on Pizarro shared hosting

Monday, April 2nd, 2018

It took a bit longer than expected, as we had to tilt at the windmill of "every user gets a MySQL installation", but Pizarro's shared hosting box can now serve PHP applications and provide users with MySQL databases of their own. Gratis with a shell account!

Talk to your friendly BoFH (ben_vulpes, asciilifeform or BingoBoingo) in #pizarro on the Freenode IRC network for details.

Pizarro Shared Hosting - a screaming deal for 0.003 BTC/mo!

Friday, March 23rd, 2018

Check out this magnificent piece of hardware:

UY1 innards

This is the machine described in the March 2018 Gear for Hire post; rerepurposed as a shared host for The Republic.

The product on offer is not your typical VPS: .003 BTC/mo (as of March 22nd, we'll adjust this occasionally as the exchange rate floats around) buys you shell access on the machine described above. We're throwing out all pretenses of isolation along with the virtualization stack, and in the process ditching a significant enough pile of overhead to sell a significantly more powerful product for the same cash. For contrast, lobbes reports that he's currently paying 5 USD/mo for a VPS with 512 MB of RAM and 50 GB of HDD space, although they do offer unlimited bandwidth. Policy on this machine is "play nice with others". Users found to be absorbing more than a reasonable (by my standards) share of bandwidth, CPU time, or memory will face a stern talking to, by myself and also the folks with whom you share the machine. One notable advantage of this setup is that you will actually have neighbors on whose doors you can knock when they disturb your sleep at 2 in the morning with bass-heavy pop music. This stands in stark contrast with the "Virtual Private Server" crowd, where you have no idea how saturated CPU usage is on your underlying host, and no neighbors to complain to.

Pizarro staff will install and manage software on this machine for users. If you'd like to use weechat, just ask and we'll get you the right weechat version. Want to serve vanilla HTML? We'll get your files wired into Apache. Want to run an MP-WP? We'll make that happen as well.

Interested? Drop by our IRC channel and ask about shared hosting. Shells are available right now, turnaround on software installation requests is variable.

Pizarro Statement, February 2018

Wednesday, February 28th, 2018

Pizarro February Statement

Prepared by ben_vulpes. This statement has been amended, you may view the previous version here here.

Pizarro February 2018 Statement

BTC incoming and outgoing


incoming   outgoing  
sale of equity 11.00000000 datacenter -0.29050099
    bunk -0.05940594
    tax -0.01980198
    office -0.03079208
    per diem -0.05940594
    advance -0.00881188
    WU fee -0.00356436
    buyout -0.80000000
    box #1 -0.25553424
    rails -0.00335165
FG sales 0.07838890    
FG sales 0.02777778    
Loan from S.NSA 0.50000000    
    Purchase of FUCKGOATS -0.50000000
total 11.60616668 total -2.03116906

USD incoming and outgoing


incoming   outgoing  
    per diem -$560
    chassis search -$11
    bank fees -$33
    rack studs -$13
    dentistry -$83
    local tax (jan) -$138
    office (march) -$311
funds for march expenses $1800    
total $1800   -$1149

Fiat Assets


account 2/01/2018 net change 2/28/2018
USD $2073 $651 $9621 $2724

Fiat Liabilities


account 2/01/2018 net change 2/28/2018
advance 0 -$89 -$89

Tangibles


item qty. book value monthly depreciation last depreciation period
UY1 1 .25553424 0.02129452 March 2019
rails (pair) 1 .00335165 0.00027930 March 2019
FUCKGOATS 29 .40277781 n/a n/a
USD 2724 .26178564 n/a n/a
total   0.92344934    

Pizarro assets


account 2/01/2018 net change 2/28/2018
cash .20123128 9.57499762 9.77622890
tangibles .21552917 0.70792017 0.92344934
intangibles and goodwill 1.49420165 0.46347129 1.95767294
    total 12.65735118

Notes:

  • tangibles: 1 server, rails, 2724 USD @ 10405.46, 29 FG
  • intangibles: DC, bunk, tax, office, per diem, fiat remittance fee

Pizarro liabilities


account 2/01/2018 net change 2/28/2018
Mircea Popescu 1.88202778 -1.88202778 0
S.NSA 0 0.50000000 0.50000000
BingoBoingo Parachute 0 0.25000000 0.25000000
shareholder equity 0   11.90760962
totals 1.88202778 -0.11673175 12.65760962

Notes:

  • Mircea Popescu suggested that the correct tally for shareholder equity should be 11 BTC and not 11.9ceteras. I calculated this value for shareholder equity by taking the difference between Pizarro's liabilities and assets ex the shareholder equity line. I'm working to understand his point and will update as soon as I do. Until then, I'm following AN0 for this line.

mod6 and asciilifeform stepped in to capitalize a new ISP under my management, after mod6 and I made a bridge loan out of The Bitcoin Foundation's coffers to keep the lights on at the Republic's sole hope for internet services. We burnt a fair pile of capital buying Mircea Popescu's equity, which was terrible for cashflow.

The bleeding shall continue through March; I'm not promising machines online before the 15th, and so naturally won't be booking any revenue until they're under customer control. That said, we're subscribed to the tune of 4U, with S.MG's management wisely paying for a year of hardware rental in advance, toting up to some 12% of our fixed costs. Not dead yet!

I left one machine behind before takeoff, and delivered the hardware for another in unleasable condition. See my personal missive for details. The bleeding will continue, heavily.

Pizarro has 1,100,000 shares outstanding. Par value for all accounts is .00001151 BTC/share, and .00000973 BTC/share for cash and tangibles.

The above was calculated incorrectly, did not account for liabilities.

Pizarro has 1,100,000 shares outstanding Par value for all accounts is 0.00001083 BTC/share for all accounts, and 0.00000905 BTC/share for cash and intangibles.

Pizarro Stock Warrants

Pizarro has the following warrants outstanding:

| # | holder      | shares  | BTC |
|---+-------------+---------+-----|
| 1 | ben_vulpes  | 100,000 | 1.0 |
| 2 | BingoBoingo | 10,000  | 0.1 |

-----BEGIN PGP SIGNED MESSAGE-----
Hash: SHA512

Stock Warrant #1

Pursuant to Pizarro ISP's Articles of Incorporation, this Stock Warrant (#1) is
hereby issued to ben_vulpes (4F79 0794 2CA8 B89B 01E2 5A76 2AFA 1A9F D2D0 31DA),
stipulating that he shall be issued 100,000 new shares in Pizarro ISP upon
payment of 1 BTC to Pizarro after February 22nd, 2019.

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=1F8U
-----END PGP SIGNATURE-----

-----BEGIN PGP SIGNED MESSAGE-----
Hash: SHA512

Stock Warrant #2

Pursuant to Pizarro ISP's Articles of Incorporation, this Stock Warrant (#2) is
hereby issued to BingoBoingo (ADD7 A9A2 8F85 E5EF 1F51 904F 309B B8D7 F325 1143),
stipulating that he shall be issued 10,000 shares upon payment of 0.1 BTC to
Pizarro after February 22nd, 2019.
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  1. Error spotted by Diana Coman []

Pizarro, incorporated!

Sunday, February 25th, 2018

Let's pop an imaginary bottle of champagne (since we're too cost-sensitive for the real deal, and all of the hard work remains to the fore), as the principals signed Pizarro's articles of incorporation.

charter_asciilifeform.txt

charter_ben_vulpes.txt

charter_bingoboingo.txt

charter_mod6.txt

The above have all been deeded as well.

Gear for hire, March 2018

Saturday, February 24th, 2018

Update: leased; see you next time!

Pizarro has 1 SuperMicro H8DGU-F 1U for lease (estimated online date of March 15th). Details:

  • 1U
  • 128 GB ECC ram
  • 2x 16-core AMD Opteron 6376 CPU's running at 2.3 GHz
  • 4 bays filled with 1TB of Samsung SSD storage apiece; currently in Raid 5, but this can be changed at customer request

The BTC cost basis for this machine is (including an estimated transportation charge) 0.28814431 BTC, so the rent on this machine will be ~0.04802406 BTC/mo plus the fee for rack space (which, to minimize forex risk, Pizarro bills monthly for, on the order of 0.014 BTC at the time of this writing). For pedantic clarity, machine rental pricing shall follow rack space pricing; double the monthly amortization charge (on a one-year schedule) for the machine.

SuperMicros are a very common server motherboard with what appears to be an extremely deep supply in the used market. In combination with the Opteron 6376 , one can disable the published "Intel Management Engine" analog with a jumper and toggling a bit in the BIOS. Opterons support ECC RAM natively, and this motherboard does as well.

Risks of building a platform of used components include: the possibility that the chosen CPUs skyrocket in price after Pizarro publishes its selections and observers begin hoovering them up to hedge against the "SHTF" hardware drought; that the used motherboards are not reliable enough to survive their amortization period and deliver value after full depreciation.

I'll also look into Mircea Popescu's proposal to socket a pile of AMD FX-8350s into ASRock 970M PRO3 motherboards, emplacing them in a 2U chassis. I suspect the costs of buying this hardware new, the time costs of assembling them will push them into an incompatible regime (Pizarro, after all, is to "follow the recipe" of building an ISP, and so I am leery of anything that smacks of inventing recipes), but this needs hard numbers and I need to understand more about how these motherboards would sit in the chassis before I can opine sensibly.

Potential customers interested in leasing the above-described service are welcome to stop into the #pizarro IRC channel on Freenode and parley. If nobody chooses to lease this box, I'm going to turn it into timeshare hosting.